we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
