Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
This is not my ceiling
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
