everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
