he wants to bone in the snuggie
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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