I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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