me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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