Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
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You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
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Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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