I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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