i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
