i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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