I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize