What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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