I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Even my vagina gasped.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
