He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
