But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
operation harelip BJ is a go
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
