whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
