so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
