we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Randomize
