Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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