Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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