Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
my liver is dry heaving
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
