But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
