Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
everyone is single if you try hard enough
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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