she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
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