dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
The best revenge is premature balding
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
