Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
