did you get engaged???
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize