can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
worst night to have a conscience
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
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