Sry I called you an 8
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
