I hate all girls vehemently.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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