Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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