Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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