she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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