How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
