i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
drinking out of a sandbucket again
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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