I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
