I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize