the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
