I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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