Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
