he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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