would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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