69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
