I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
