He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
