My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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