Ambien. No doubt about it.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty