My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.