so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online