he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Randomize
