I think I am morally bankrupt
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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