Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
