HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
