Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
