I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I need to calm my uterus...
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
